Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Jay's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, September 6th, 2005
9:25 am	Hangovers most definatley are NOT fun..... (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 11th, 2005
5:03 pm	A few changes... New Cell Phone - 603-759-7476. If the voice mail picks up, a girl will start talking. Thats my sister, so don't think you got the wrong number. SN- SammyAs84 (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
2:11 am	vroom vroomm he was the leader of the pack Current Mood: drunk (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 19th, 2005
3:28 pm	Small gathering of friends So, next friday, July 1st, I plan on having a little gathering at my house. Sadly, I have shitty neighbors and a pretty small house, so I can't invite everyone that I would like to. If I don't get to invite some of you, please don't get mad. This friday is going to be sort of a trial run. If all goes smoothly I plan on having more as the summer goes on. I hope no one gets pissed. J (2 Comments |Comment on this)
3:17 am	fuck yeah The sun is coming up. I just got home. I'm drunk. Party in the works. Keep ya posted. Current Mood: drunk (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 30th, 2005
9:54 pm	Yeah dumb people These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place: ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan. --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one. --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Would you repeat the question? --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Uh.... --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Huh? --------------------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
12:23 pm	BUFFALO THEORY by Cliff Calvin of Cheers "Well ya see Norm, it's like this...A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members." "In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 9th, 2005
10:22 pm	A little warning about the dangers of alcohol... Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a loser. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. Consumption of alcohol may convince you that your ex is really dying to hear from you at 4 am. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember). Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that you're tougher than a really big guy named Kong. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small... or large gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005
9:03 pm	if I lived.... So, I leave for Florida tomorrow. Orlando to be exact. gonna be a fuckin blast. The week after that, Canada. Gonna get retarded in another country. Should be a good time. A few weeks later it's my 21st birthday!! house or no house, I'm spending it with my friends. I'll have plenty of time for bars and that shit. ....till I was 102.... Then, a few weeks after my b-day I go back to school. Not a bad way to to jump back into real life, huh? Florida, Canada, 21st birthday. So I spent an extra hour at work today. turned my 11 hour shift into a 12 hour shift. It was fun. Had a really interesting conversation with a gay kid. Cleaned like a mad man. I had a really great time at work today. I've got a "date" for tomorrow before I leave. ....I just don't think I'd ever... I'm really excited for everything that coming up, I just want it to be here. Oh well, patience is a virtue! Aiiight, I'm out. Talk to y'all later. ....get over you... Current Mood: giddy Current Music: garden state (I fucking love this movie!) (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 24th, 2005
8:05 pm	Have a quick question for y'all So I was spending my day off reading the other day, when I came to a part where the main character had to leave his home in a hurry, not having much time to think about what things he should take. He only grabbed the things that were important to him. SO, my question to anyone who actually reads this is what would you bring? You're leaving everthing behind. You on;y have a box about two feet long, a foot or so high, and mabe 18 inches deep. Out of all your possesions, what are the ones that really mean something to you? Hold a special place for some reason or another? You can only fill up the box. What would you bring? Current Mood: curious Current Music: Some history show about the Nazis... (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 19th, 2004
2:22 pm	Did you know that Bulls are carnivours? I had the best time I've had in weeks yesturday. Went to Six Flags yesturday with Ashleigh and Megan. It was a fuckin blast. Superman is the best ride ever. For the few of you that knew me and Christine were together, we broke up. For those of you who didn't know we were together, we got together and broke up. I guess being different from the person your with is a BAD thing. Silly me, I thought it was better to be with someone who wasn't exactally like you... I was wrong. Oh well, life goes on. This is probably the worst time of year for me. Everyone going back to school soon, all excited to be gettin out of here, leavin everything behind. But I'm stuck here, doing the same old shit. Makes me sad I guess. Maybe I'll just figure out a way to work all day, take naps in the back for a a few hours and just work all the time. Not going to have anything else to do but work. Budd, just read your last post, about packing and starting a new chapter of your life. Just don't forget some of the old chapters in your life. Congratulations and all that shit. You'll do good if you put your mind to it. Maybe I'll be up around that way sometime soon. HEY AMBER!! I was reading through some of your posts, trying to keep up and stuff. Just wanted to say that I miss you and we needa talk sometime and junk!! Hope everything is good. whatthefuckamidoing J (Comment on this)
Friday, June 18th, 2004
10:47 am	Stupid fucking people..... - Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. - Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed. - When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested. - A guy wearing pantyhose on his face was robbing a store in a mall. When the security came he quickly grabbed a shopping bag and pretended to be shopping while he was still wearing the pantyhose! - A woman was arrested after she killed her boyfriend. She killed him because they were arguing who loved the other more. - After two men robbed a store, they found out their car wouldn't start so they went back into the store and offered to give back the money in return for a jump start. - Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. - New York: As a female shopper exited a convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police had apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied "Yes Officer. That's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from." - Seattle: When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motorhome parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to try to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motorhome's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had. - Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 6:50am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. - (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
9:31 pm	I lead an interesting life... So yeah.. Definatley might be leaving Christopher's, finally. Spent the day putting a bike together and playing ball in a bog Spending tomorrow fixing my lawnmower, cuz my grass is a foot and a half long.... oops Gonna be a big time cook at Bert's I wanna drink, and smoke some more... Oh, did I mention Shrek 2 was fucking hilarious?? Hey AMY!!! If your reading this, we havn't talked in years, and we need to change that, so call me and let me know how you are. Later everyone, Jay (19 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 22nd, 2004
4:09 pm	"Me and every other guy who'll never be what they wanted to be is out there, being what we don't want to be 40 hours a week for life. And the fact that I didn't put a gun to my mouth, you pudding of a woman, makes me a winner!" --Al Bundy to a female customer on Married, with Children (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 13th, 2004
10:14 am	Life is fucked... If life were a person, I would have kicked it's ass a long time ago. Seriously, it pulls some really messed up stuff. I'm gonna make myself rich someday, the way I see it that would solve most of life's problems. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 8th, 2004
8:06 pm	Ain't ths some shit... So I pay sixty bucks to play foot ball, and what happens the fourth week?? I sprain my left ankle and right knee and can no longer play football. Son of bitch. I now get to wear a knee brace and walk with crutches.... damn it. My knee feels like a water balloon I'm jealous of the fat kid Yeah Volvo's Sugar cubes can be fun I'm a bad man My day wasn't boring, it was relaxing -J (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 29th, 2004
9:11 pm	" Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law" Well now... I'm sitting here, and my brother just came home. He is totally shit-faced. I love it. How have I been? I dunno when I last posted anything. I play football now. It's only flag football, but I still get pretty well beat up. It's fun. It's really early. Most games are at 8 on Sunday mornings, which pretty much ruins my Saturday night. The first two weeks we did pretty well, we one 2 games and lost 2. Then last Sunday we got matched up against two 8-man, division A teams. We're division C, 4-man. We lost both games, but we still did pretty well. We definatley could have beat both teams, but our offense wasn't quite there. Oh well, we are the best team in our division, and will do better next week. Hey, Budd, remember that book I bought last week? Well there is one quote in it that you would like. "On Golden Blond" It's the title of a porno, surprise surprise. "If Noah had been truly wise, he would have swatted those two flies." H. Castle Oh well, I have nothing really to say, so I'm out -TheStyle- P.S. "Boy meets girls; girl gets boy into pickle; boy gets pickle into girl." - Jack Woodford (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 8th, 2004
7:59 pm	Gloves on your feet are called socks.... This is the kinds of things I get paid 11 dollars an hour to sit around with my fellow employees to figure out. Its really sad. So, my birthday was friday. I'm not 20 years old, and it really dosn't feel any different. It was an intersting night. I discovered I am not strong enough to hold a car in place with my bare hands, and I cannot stop one by punching it. But I can mess my hand up pretty damn well.... Saturday was better. Another small party, much drunkeness..... Don't try and play football at 10 in the morning, after 2 days of heavy drinking, after getting dragged by a car, after punching a car, and did I mention heavy drinking??? J (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 1st, 2004
4:45 pm	The first time sucks... Well New Years has come and is rapidly winding down. You weren't there today to sit and talk with me while the rest of the fam ignored me, and it really hit how much I missed it. Sorry i wasn't there for you when you needed me. There definatley is an empty space now. It hurts still, even this long after. I miss you. Anyway.... Jello shots, ice 101, beer, and champaign are NOT a friendly mix! Actually, it was. Kinda regretting it right now, but it was well worth it! Yeah walkin home drunk, again! Haha.... It was a good night, good party, good friends, lotsa boozin and heart felt talks! I would like to say that Big Dan drank alcohol, I'm so proud! Hey, Amy, sorry I told you to come over just so you guys could get kicked out! Sorry I wasn't there, either, but I was ready to fuckin drop out, so I did! Later Current Mood: thoughtful Current Music: Hands Down (in my head, at least) (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 29th, 2003
7:23 pm	Hahaha... Yeah, it is the litle one.... (Comment on this)